Hello gorgeous people of the world. It’s Cait, currently coming to you from my closet.
Now, you see it on the site, I’ve mentioned it before, and supposedly I say it all the time. But really, Cait…what is “Look Good, Feel Good”? Is it just getting confidence from your outfit?
Oh, dear reader. No, no, and one more time…no. Look Good, Feel Good is a mindset. It’s a way for queens, queers, baddies like me to get through the day. Almost like a secret weapon, and luckily for you, I’m dropping it right in your lap for free on this fine afternoon.
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Now, we are studying closet chemistry here, so let’s settle in for a science lesson. Cause and effect. The basic fundamentals of every experiment. You do something, and (hopefully) something will happen because of it. Make sense? Great.
In the Look Good, Feel Good mentality, you’re changing how you’re drawing attention to both your outer and inner self. You’re not just trying to look your best in your style, body language, and presentation, but also trying to progressively engage with your thoughts, mindset, and reactions. In response, you guessed it, you feel fucking great.
Let’s start with the outer self. This is the easy part, at least for me. First step, you want to dress in a way that reflects the occasion and your personal style while, most importantly, making you feel beautiful. For me, the beauty in an outfit comes from how me I feel in it. If my values and personality are shining through my outfit, that’s a win. Of course it changes, some days I’m in all black and some sweats while other days I’m sporting the rainbow and some pumps, but if I feel beautiful, it’s my style. I’ll talk more about finding your personal style in a later post, we simply don’t have enough time for that right now if I’m trying to keep this cute and collected.
Next step is how you’re presenting yourself physically. Body language says a lot, babe, and I know for a fact you struggle with keeping that back straight already. The key is to make yourself open. If you cross your legs and arms and hold everything in, you’re not telling your brain you’re in a confident mindset. The body and mind are more connected than you know. If you consistently present with your back straight and your arms out rather than scrunching in with them crossed, not only will you be received more positively and confidently by those around you, but your brain will start to believe you’re more open and powerful. Cause and effect, baby. Told you science comes in handy.
Last step in outer-slaying is simply presenting yourself how you want to be perceived. If you’re acting in ways aligned with your personal values and goals, you’ll feel better about the things you did during the day. For example, you’re at Starbucks and, yet again, the barista messes up your order. You could do what you always do and just let it slide, drink the chai without the vanilla flavoring you love so much, or, you could act in line with the confidence and self-love you want to start internalizing. Your values. You could say with a smile, “Excuse me, I asked for some vanilla in this. Could you fix my order please?” And yeah, I know you want to throw a sorry in there, but you won’t. Because you don’t need to apologize for getting the things in life you are owed (and in this example, literally paid for).
Now let’s get into the nitty gritty. The hard part. The inner.
I could put this simply and just say, want to be happy? Think happy thoughts! But I won’t, because as well all know it’s not that fucking simple. You have to get into the crevices of your brain and clean out all those negative thinking patterns you were taught at such a young age. You need to see that you are human, and humans deserve happiness. Want to be happy? Well, I’ve got some news.
The only person who can make you happy is yourself.
It all starts with catching those negative thoughts and emotions. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the negativity attempting to consume you. The thoughts you think aren’t facts, and the emotions you have only last 6 seconds. It’s all about how you react to these thoughts and emotions that determine how you feel. So, catch them. Catch the negativity and say no. Someone cuts you off in traffic? You want to honk your horn and scream and allow yourself to be negatively impacted by someone else’s actions for the rest of the drive? Too bad. You’re not giving them that power today. You’re giving yourself the power to embrace and enjoy.
Instead, you’re gonna count to 6 and let the emotion pass. Let yourself be mad for 6 seconds, then let it go. After that, you’re back to your personal happiness journey. Act and think in ways that align with who you want to be, and before you know it you will be that person. One day we’ll get into negative thinking patterns and how to combat them, but for today, just try to let one thing go. One thing that pissing you off. Life is simply a series of experiences, and if you form those experiences positively in your mind, you will find peace and happiness.
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Look Good, Feel Good. That’s what it’s all about. If you present the way you want to be perceived and allow yourself to think in a way beneficial to your future, you will succeed in feeling good. Maybe not every second of the day, but don’t let it be more than 6, babe. We got this.
Closing the Closet,
Cait Kem
Closet Chemistry 